- Is noodles not indomie. Is pen not biro? Is airtime not credit? Abeg add your own
- If RELATIONSHIP aren’t working for you, try other SHIPS like ENTEPENEURSHIP, PARTNERSHIP, INTERNSHIP, if they fail. Please WORSHIP
- Abeg not everything is village people joor. How can you wear Glo T-shirt to Mtn office for a job interview? I hate rubbish!
- If not for Judas, we won’t have holidays
- To be jealous while you are unfaithful is another form of witchcraft
- I may not have flat tummy but I have Jesus Christ
- Our parents used to say “ you will understand when you grow up “
Do you understand now?
- Stop washing your maggi hand inside soup !!!
Me: Stop shouting at me please
- Why do men fall on the BED when women push them with one finger??
- You are asking God to send you serious partner. I chatted u and u ignored my message. Who do u think sent me?
- Oh Lord My God Do You Know That. The Sex you created For Reproduction & Companionship,
Some Girls Are Using It For Fund Raising?
- Bros na her mindset go raise your children. Not her big yansh or fine face.
Choose Wisely .
- Never marry someone you can’t joke or play with, because marriage is not a military ground. Am I communicating??
- A true Christian CAN NOT be HORNY. You should be filled in the Holy Ghost all the time.
Please which Kind of figurative speech is that?
- Why is CRY the first letters in CRYPTOCURRENCY???
- A cat crying at 2am: American : She must be hungry Britain : She must be cold Nigerians : ????
- God please give me wisdom to understand my man because if I ask for strength, I will beat him till death. How many women can relate to this prayer??
- Oga, if it’s condom you came to chemist to buy tell me its condom you want. Which one is “attend to everybody else let them go”? Do you want to rob us?
- If you cannot smash your phone when it hang, never you hit a woman when you’re angry
- If you’re waiting for a man who is Honest, Handsome, Understanding, Nice , Loving , Faithful and Rich !Be patient my sister.. Jesus is coming soon!
- Don’t be anybody’s second choice… You are not a Polytechnic
- Excuse me. All these people that are inboxing me saying, you need to go to the gym , you need to go to the gym; When the mother is not around, where do you think they will rest? Biko, leave my belle for me. Everything has a reason
- Sometimes God blesses you so much and you feel like telling Him
“GOD BLESS YOU SIR”
- Those of you wrote “TOPIC “ with red pen and the rest with blue pen in Secondary School , hope you’re now working with Daily Sun.
- I’ll never cook for a man before marriage, but you’ll collect money before then abi.
- Jesus aggressively drove people out of the temple , amongst them were money doublers; 2k to get 100k. Lord, those people are back
- Ordinary injection you will be crying but 9 inches you will be saying “Baby, go deeper “.
Ndi Deeper Life.
- Anyone who uses HAND, CANE, BELT OR WIRE to flog his/her child is DISOBEYING GODS WORD!!!
The BIBLE Specifically Recommended ROD!
- Going into a relationship expecting your partner to be perfect is the BEGINNING OF A FAILED RELATIONSHIP
- The best way to punish your man is to reject his money. Ladies, am I communicating
- Convert your salary to U.S Dollar. You will realize that in Zimbabwe and Nigeria ; We are just waiting for JUDGMENT DAY.
- Why can’t the world be full of nice, good people like ME and Jesus?
- Don’t judge me by my post, I may be the person your mom wants you to marry!!!
- Anything more than 3hrs is no more a prolonged CHURCH SERVICE,
It’s a HOSTAGE SITUATION. The Bible is clear: “LET MY PEOPLE GO”
- Should a good Christian also look left and right before crossingthe highway?
- Man wey dey keep malice suppose dey see period. Talk true
- If I’m asking you out your own is to answer YES or ALRIGHT or already there’s NO in my dictionary. Stop asking me do you have a girlfriend.
- If Christianity bores you, You haven’t met Jesus
- This generation thinks marriage is all about sex until they enter inside and bills won’t allow the man have Erection for 6 months.
- I Thought they said From iPhone 7 is water resistant. Now I done go swim with my IPhone Xmax. And it’s been blinking like doll baby eye. Toor I am not crying ooooo, it’s dust that enter my eye.
- If you’re outside in the farm working and it’s raining heavily with lightning & and your kids say,”Mummy/Daddy biko come inside oo before thunder will fire you oo”,……..
Is it a curse or caring?
- Which is more frustrating: searching for a pair of earphones you have around your neck or having to detangle one?
- Her: “my child only speaks English”
Her child: mummy the remote she’s where?
- When will women learn that getting fat in marriage doesn’t mean you are enjoying or that your Hubby is taking care of you Yell?
- I’m flirting with you. You come dey ignore your babe. Is like you want to lose Home and Away
- I Respect Pregnant Woman Alot, Because. Is Not Easy Walking Around With The Evidence That You Have Had Sex!!
- The only man who can control a lady without argument is a camera man
- You for talk earlier nah. I don take the money buy something. Niggas biggest lie.
- Take care of your skin ooo if Buhari ban Snapchat; E go rough ooo
- Date both of them to see who is serious…That’s how girls advice themselves.
- Please Stop Fighting For Positions In Church, Chukwu Akpoo Gi Oku? Just Fight For Your Name To Be Written In The Book Of Life
- You can’t hold me like a PINCH OF SALT and expect me to carry you like a bag of cement. Value Is Reciprocal..
- Have you fallen in love? Or I should set leg for you
- The only serious date I have right now is my date of birth.
- I swear guys don’t even eat that much anymore. Women do the eating for them
- Na You dey screen Shot Clothes, but na your Gallery dey wear them
- If you’re single and nobody is texting you, please go offline, you’re making the network slow.
- The day I’ll enter aeroplane eh, I’ll cut small cloud and put inside nylon
- I Know There Is No Violence In Heaven; But When I Die And Get There, I Just Want To Talk To The Angel Who Was Responsible For My Love-Life One On One Outside.
- When life KNOCKS you down, Abeg lie down and SLEEP, You sef don try
- If u can eat without getting fat u don’t know what God has done for u my dear. Some of us pray before drinking water and we still get fat.
- So Because I Didn’t Talk To My Girl for two years, She Thinks We’ve Broken up..
- I Hear Wetin You Talk For My Back, But You Know Why I No Confront You, hahahhha. Them No Debit Me
- )If relationship no favour, your try Evangelism, If you no fit win heart, you fit win soul na…
Abii! You cannot carry las.
- Lord, I donate all my fake friends to you as “BURNT OFFERINGS “
- Are you still waiting for the apple of your eye, abi you go manage guava?
- Pls how do I explain to my landlord that Jesus has paid my dept including my house rent ?
- Our father, who art in Wembley, Southgate be thy name. The cup will come, Kane’s work will be done, in London as it was in Rome. Give us this day our daily pint and forgive Sterling’s offside trespasses, as we forgive those who bet against us. And lead us not into under-achievement. But deliver us the titFor football’s coming home. The history and the glory. Forever and ever. Our men.
- Your legs can reach upon somebody’s son shoulders but when it’s time for exercise you complaining. Don’t scroll by …It’s you I’m talking too
- Beware, Jealousy also comes in the form of
“I’m happy for you” especially when “ooooo” Is Added.
Eg: I’m happy for you oooooo.
- Are you still the cockroach in his cupboard or they have spray you otapiapia??
- Dear single ladies, When he gives you an engagement ring, kindly buy him a wrist watch, Make him too know say time no dey.
- Jesus was very humble, if na me wakeup from the grave, I go dey run through the street of Jerusalem with my disciples dey shout who dey breathe.
- If U Still Have Feelings For Ur Ex Just Bath With Dettol It Kills 99.9% Germs!
- Meeting someone new is so stressful, You have to pretend like you have sense.
- Do you know that the air that comes out of your pot while cooking is called AIRPORT?.. No be everything them go teach you for school so learn this one from me!
- If you remove “Father Lord” from the English lexicon, some of us, our prayer structure has scattered.
Don’t even touch “Eternal rock of ages “, you’ve spoilt the intro .
- Even in heaven Igbo must find something doing like selling of trumpet and fairly used white garments.
- Whites: He’s gone, Rip!
Nigerians: when he was licking orange, I didn’t know he was saying goodbye.
- Blessed are the men who have naughty girlfriend and wives for they shall enjoy life right here on earth.
Credit: Awaji’ma-eji Allison Otana